apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
