SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
