I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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