Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
