Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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