How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
