We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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