Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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