i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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