Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize