This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
