my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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