I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Yo dont text me then not text me
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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