i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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