its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
