Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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