he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
