All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
