I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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