Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
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i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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