i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
