pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
