dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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