I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
two words: eviction party
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
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the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
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I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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