Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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