it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
