the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
