The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
