Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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