I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Ladies don't puke and tell
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
