i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm like, not good at living.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
