I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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