she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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