Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize