He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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