just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
