it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
