Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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