no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
