Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
