He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
