I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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