If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
