I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
