final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Do vagina's smell?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
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