maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
