Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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