adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
