If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
