It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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