school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
