Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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