My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
