so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
