im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
