You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
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Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
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we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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