Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
