Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
